For years I have had conversations with girls about this unfortunate double standard in society. They want to know why guys can sleep around and openly talk about it, but if girls do the same they are looked down upon. I used to have various half-baked explanations as to why that may be, but nothing has ever been conclusive:
- Balance of relationship power (metaphysical bullshit…)
- Girls have more to lose (figurative rationalisation bullshit…)
- Feelings are always involved for girls (emotional justification bullshit…)
I’m sure you’ve had similar theories…
It’s frustratingly ridiculous and unfair, isn’t it?
Recently however, I’ve come up with what I believe is to be the definitive answer. Not only did I identify the exact social dynamic that created this stupid double standard, I can illustrate it for you as well.
The setting? Neverland, South Melbourne…
I’m with gorgeous Miss Shanghai Socialite and we’ve known each other long enough to be aware that we’re both VERY good at what we do. So I suggest a game – who can get the most dates in a half hour. Ever the professional gambler, she suggested to take it one step further:
The goal is to get laid the fastest.
Honour system, no holds barred, speed game. The stake: bragging rights.
Miss Shanghai Socialite knows what I’m capable of and thinks it’s a fair fight, but it really isn’t.
It really isn’t at all…
We go out into the large smoking area and she approaches a guy by the fence and says with a smile, ‘Hi, I think you’re really cute, would you like to come back to my place tonight?’ As he hesitates she adds, ‘You should decide now, otherwise I’ll go and find someone else.’
Unless the guy is gay or religious, she doesn’t have to spend more than a few minutes to lock a guy in. She made 5 guys turn into pathetic puppies in less time it takes to watch an episode of How I Met Your Mother.
One after the other they fall like dominos, and she smugly saunters back to me.
Now it’s my turn.
I’m approaching girls directly and with overwhelming sexuality - I compliment girls using my tried and trusted: ‘I just had to let you know you have a great sense of style’ ‘There’s something interesting about you that I’m really curious about’ and after a few minutes suggest I show her something back at my place. This has a very, VERY low chance of success, but with the right girl it is the fastest way for me to work my magic under the conditions.
So what I really need is a girl that is very sexual, who instantly finds me attractive and is confident in what she wants. During the day time, it takes hours of solid seduction to get a girl to that point. At night it’s much easier, but most girls will still require some solid seduction.
As you can tell from our sojourn, initiating sex is a much easier process for girls than it is for guys.
So whatever I do - however we look at it - it’s much more difficult for me to get laid than Miss Shanghai Socialite.
And I lose the bet…
How this Applies to the Player/Slut Double Standard
So it’s easy for a girl to get laid, but it’s more difficult for a guy to get laid. This much we can all agree on.
So keep that in mind as we definitively determine why guys who have lots of sex are considered cool, and why girls who have lots of sex are labelled sluts.
I’m sure you know we’re I’m going with this…
Let’s take a guy who has slept with 50 girls, including international models and well-regarded, accomplished women, and compare him to a girl who has slept with 50 guys, including international models and well-regarded, accomplished men.
Let’s size them up in the way a potential date might.
A girl looks at this guy and his ‘resume: work history’ and sees that he has successfully seduced all these girls. What does this say about him as a person?
We know that more than looks is required to have had successfully seduced all these girls, so he probably possesses traits like: humour, confidence, leadership, intelligence, and social status. In fact, every quality he has would be an attractive one.
The inference for him based on this one little detail? He is experienced, he’s capable and he has a lot going for him.
Now we look at the girl who has slept with a lot of guys. What does this tell us about her? Does it even tell us she’s good looking? No. If it’s given to them on a plate, most guys will drastically lower their standards with regards to sex. So she could be average looking or possibly unattractive, even.
Does it mean she has a great personality or does it reveal other personal qualities about her? Again, no, she could walk around a venue and not even say a word and get laid.
The inference for her based on this one little detail? Nothing positive at all.
And therein lies the rub.
Live well, love life and never EVER - under any circumstance - kiss and tell…